How did it come to this? It was supposed to be the happiest time of
my life. Well it isnt.It has never been. It has been a nightmare without
end.
We are two strangers. The word 'we' even sounds strange and not fittings as there is no we. There is just him and mainly me, me by myself.
The two people that supposeddly love me more than anything in the world make me the unhappiest person of all.
My mother, always always criticising, putting me down, offering help when not needed, not providing support when needing and always always impersonating me, taking 'care' of my finances, of my hobbies, of my purchases, of my schedule, of my work, of my personal life, even impersonating me on the phone. AND she just won't stop. Whatever I do, however much I yell, however hard we fight, next day it is like it never happened. LIKE it NEVER happened.
I cant take this anymore
And then him, i dont even want to say my husband. Well what kind of husband leaves you alone everyday, treats you badly because he hates your mother, never kisses you, it has been a year, never cuddles you, it has been a year and leaves you all that same year go through the pregnancy as if nothing is happening, sends you home to your hated mother because we cannot take care of the baby.
It is funny but I havent had sex, kissed anybody, hugged anybody for a year now. I did it last year, i got pregnant and then nothing. All by myself.
I am so confused. It was ok for them to treat me like shit. i could pretend it didnt happen. But now that I have my daughter I need to solve this.I need them to stop.I need them to respect me. I need them to know my boundaries. And it is so hard.
I dont even know my boundaries. And I know that whining about it doesnt help. But what does? What will happen?Where will all this end up?
Me divorced? but then my mother will have won and she will be even more unbearable.
Me not talking to her? and what about the job that is feeding us and she is part of it?
Shoulf I just leave everyone behind? And what will happen to the baby?
I am so sad. so sad....so unhappy
We are two strangers. The word 'we' even sounds strange and not fittings as there is no we. There is just him and mainly me, me by myself.
The two people that supposeddly love me more than anything in the world make me the unhappiest person of all.
My mother, always always criticising, putting me down, offering help when not needed, not providing support when needing and always always impersonating me, taking 'care' of my finances, of my hobbies, of my purchases, of my schedule, of my work, of my personal life, even impersonating me on the phone. AND she just won't stop. Whatever I do, however much I yell, however hard we fight, next day it is like it never happened. LIKE it NEVER happened.
I cant take this anymore
And then him, i dont even want to say my husband. Well what kind of husband leaves you alone everyday, treats you badly because he hates your mother, never kisses you, it has been a year, never cuddles you, it has been a year and leaves you all that same year go through the pregnancy as if nothing is happening, sends you home to your hated mother because we cannot take care of the baby.
It is funny but I havent had sex, kissed anybody, hugged anybody for a year now. I did it last year, i got pregnant and then nothing. All by myself.
I am so confused. It was ok for them to treat me like shit. i could pretend it didnt happen. But now that I have my daughter I need to solve this.I need them to stop.I need them to respect me. I need them to know my boundaries. And it is so hard.
I dont even know my boundaries. And I know that whining about it doesnt help. But what does? What will happen?Where will all this end up?
Me divorced? but then my mother will have won and she will be even more unbearable.
Me not talking to her? and what about the job that is feeding us and she is part of it?
Shoulf I just leave everyone behind? And what will happen to the baby?
I am so sad. so sad....so unhappy
